Thursday, February 21, 2019

Coffee Chat: It's been more than a year but hello darlings...



It's February 20th 2019 and it's been more than a year since I updated the blog. Which there are many reasons for the main one being that 2018 for me involved being sick listed more than I worked due to my mental health along with a crap load of harsh (and very painful) chronic shit. And I am going to leave that part at that. Because I have been dealing with this daily for a few years now (not my first rodeo but probably my worst so far) and I still am dealing with this every day so I don't want to spend my first post in almost a year writing about it, you know? I hope you can understand and respect this choice. I am the same meeting people, which is why I hate running into people, because they are curious you know, for the reason that they care. But I don't want to spend time talking about this shit then either because once again, this is my daily life right now and a break is damn nice to be had.

This break wasn't planned. I did plan to take a week off social media and the online life for a week. Which turned into a year. Because my blog isn't the only part of my online surroundings that went dark. But I do miss it, a lot. I just felt like I couldn't just jump back into blogging like nothing happened hence this post. Which is also a good way to start off a new blog post series which I've named Coffee Chat!

Coffee Chat will basically be me jumping in writing a post on anything that I feel like out of the blue, while having myself a cup of jo. It can be about life stuff but also random thoughts or things I've discovered has helped me in some way that I want to pass on. It can be anything I damn want, nice huh?

As I mentioned I've spent my most time away being sick listed and I still am as I write this. My current full time sick listing is this month out and honestly with my slow progress...I have a feeling my doctor is going to want to extend that. But I hope that maybe I can start working again maybe 25% but we'll see.

Another big ass change is that as of the last of February I will no longer be an employee at my job. This is a decision that I've had to make for a long time. Because no matter how much I love that job and the people I've worked with for these 7 years it's not good for me. I am way to isolated and with my current migraine problems sitting in front of a screen 8 hours for 5 days a week...It doesn't work. It is very heartbreaking but in the long wrong it will be the right choice and it is the right choice now as well. But I'd lie if I said I wasn't terrified and lost, my work became such a big part of who I was and still am so yeah, I better buckle up and hold on tight.

Ok so this is a long post and a whole more bunch of words that what you're used to. But hey, it's been a year and a lot has happened. And there are some things that I just...It needs to be out there. If you have any questions or worries please be free to ask them because I am willing to answer and if not, I will just say so.

Please know that I have family and close friends who have an eye on me, that are there for me. And I do have a team of professionals helping me as well so even if it's a damn fucking chaos, it is a controlled damn fucking chaos. So my life is shit but it could have been worse, I am not alone and I know everything will work out in the end. I just need to fight my way there.

If you made it all the way down here, thank you for reading this massive post and send me a hi! I have missed ya'll so damn much! How are you? What's going on in your life? What's new?

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